Peter Kane – Relationship Theorist and author "The Monogamy Challenge"

The Relationship Transformations Blog

Internet Dating Part V: When to Hide Your Profile

Here is the last installment on Online Dating. Perhaps I will soon combine all five into one article or appendix to my book. Blessings, Peter While I have coached my clients about how to best use online dating sites for […]

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Internet Dating Part IV: Establishing Trust:

As I said in part three – I recommend avoiding “interviewing” when you meet someone online or otherwise. But some people do ask a lot of questions, mostly because they are insecure and not present with the natural flow of […]

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Internet Dating Part III: Coffee Anyone?

Have you ever had a blind date? That’s what internet dating is, a self arranged blind date. Do people still have blind dates? In either case, coffee seems to be the agreed norm for a first meeting. The simplicity of […]

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Internet Dating #2: Getting Beyond the Fantasy

Fantasy and The Fantasy Bond (Chapter 23 of my book) are important issues to address in all relationships, but fantasy may be at its highest in Internet dating. It is natural that as you read profiles you will be hoping […]

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Happy New Year-Acknowledge Yourself

What I find most beneficial about celebrating The New Year is that it marks a cycle that can help us reflect on how we feel. I like to use this time to note my gratitudes for the past year and […]

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Let’s Talk about Internet Dating

Readers of my book have been asking me how online dating fits into “The Monogamy Challenge: Creating and Keeping Intimacy.” I have LOTS to say about this. Dating and online dating will be the focus of my next few blogs. […]

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How Do You Self-Soothe?

One of the more abstract themes of my work and my book is Self-Soothing. Regardless of our issues, or the kind of relationships we are working with, becoming better at self-soothing is a critical part of healing and creating success. […]

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Part 3 – Make Your Partner a Better Lover: Commitment Phobia

The term commitment phobia invokes images of the fear being suffocated or trapped in a bad relationship. While this is part of the issue, a more common pattern, and more valuable use of the term is that people fear commitment […]

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Part 2 – How to Make Your Partner a Better Lover: Perfectionism and Goal Orientation

Next, I would like to explore perfectionism and how it can be an aspect of poor or non-existent lovemaking. People often associate perfectionism with working tirelessly to improve something or with obsessively agonizing over how to make something perfect. I […]

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Part 1 – How to Make Your Partner a Better Lover

I don’t know anyone who would publicly admit to asking me to write this, but I do know people who will appreciate it. There are many people who are frustrated with their partners’ lovemaking or lack of it. There are […]

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