This is an intense time. It is an intense week, in an intense year, in an intense life. Now more than ever I think it is a good time to ask ourselves why do we do the things we do? What is our purpose?
I asked my self these questions (again) several years ago as my 15-year-old son Max and I began our 96-mile backpacking trip on the Wonderland trail that encircles Mount Rainier. I had done the trail before and to do it with Max was a dream come true. Yet, as we began our first ascent I still wondered why do this? Why do I leave the comfort of home and make this adventure? I have many responsibilities at home and in my business that I should be tending to. Instead, I am out on this trail doing something somewhat difficult that is not necessary.
I have asked myself similar questions most of my adult life. In my counseling and seminar practice I have facilitated life’s purpose workshops and created mission statements. I am comfortable with the idea that it is helpful to see the deeper purposes and meanings of our lives. On one hand it is obvious that I am on this hike with Max to have time together, to accomplish something challenging, to connect with the earth on a deeper level, and to have an activity that takes away from superficial distractions and helps us focus on the deeper essences of our lives. I am satisfied with these answers yet feeling the depth of the question still feels important.
On our first day we hiked over 13 miles and went up and down nearly 6,000 feet. We could have just stayed home in the comfort of our beds. We could have stayed home and worked around the house. Is there something more important that we need to do? or that the world needs from us? Conversely, is it necessary that we have a house, three cars and an office? What’s the purpose of achieving success in my business or in Max’s school? Hiking is a choice that has a bigger purpose. Being a father, counselor, or a homeowner has a bigger purpose too. I tend to forget these purposes when I feel burdened by the responsibilities that are involved. As I engage in the discretionary activity of hiking I can see that each step is a choice as is my whole life.
One of the many things I love about backpacking is that it is simple. Our biggest decisions are how far to hike, how much water and food to carry, when to get more water, and how to stay dry and warm. Our house is a tent about the size of a double bed. We have small pads to sleep on, warm sleeping bags and raingear in case of rain. We carry what we need from place to place. We feel free to go anywhere. We can boil water without the aide of a utility company. We use 3 ounces of gas per day, not 3 gallons.
A trip like this exemplifies several important things that apply to all aspects of life. We are free; we do this because we want to. We want to do it because it has meaning, and we seem to find the most meaning in challenges.
Our day-to-day lives originate with choices like getting jobs and buying houses but then we forget we had made a choice and we treat our situation as an obligation. Stressful times exacerbate the tendency to feel like victims who are burdened by our choices.
Now more than ever I think we can benefit from remembering to choose the important stuff. Smell the roses. Eat desert first. But also stay strong and do the hard important stuff. Not because we need to prove anything, but to create what is most meaningful. It is my feeling that what is most meaningful is our contributions. I think the evolved-human-being cares most about what they create, not about what they get out of it. We want to climb the mountain, balance the budget, feed the family, make our friend happy, and build a better world.
Life is not a bucket list. It is a bucket to fill. By contributing and creating things that are important we feel full and abundant. (See my previous Blog about letting go of the bucket list.) We do deserve great things and experiences but sometimes knowing we can climb the mountain is more important.
So if you are climbing the mountain, going around it, or are stuck in the mud, I write these words to remind you to take a breath and continue. Remember that you are doing this for more than survival, for more than compensation. You are doing this because it is important and because you can.
To your life and what you put into it,
Peter
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